“You can’t let go and not take action. You can’t take action and not let go. Most of us struggle with letting go because we don’t know how to act without struggling.”
– Amit
Where to even begin this blog? Letting go is truly an art and it has taken me a while to master. I know some of my anxiety came from all I was trying to hold on to in my life. We all know that life is a constant stream of change, and learning to embrace change with open arms is a vital skill on the path to a resilient life. It’s hard, but there is a beautiful life out there when we learn how to surrender and let go.
Before going into the art of letting go I want to acknowledge that it’s a common struggle, and there are several reasons behind our reluctance to release what no longer serves us. Let me start with the fear of the unknown. We humans tend to prefer the familiar, even if it’s not good for us. The unknown can be scary, and letting go often means stepping into uncharted territory. This fear of uncertainty can paralyze us. I also believe when we come from an environment of survival mode, the unfamiliar is not safe and our mind has been conditioned to the belief that the unknown will bring danger.
Another possible reason to hold on tight to what doesn’t serve us is the emotional attachment we have created. We grow emotionally attached to people, places, things, and even our own stories. Letting go may feel like losing a piece of ourselves, and that can be heartbreaking. Letting go does force us to shed a layer of our emotional attachment which can be painful. We may begin to see what we need to address in order to move forward.
Which leads me to our resistance to change. Change is inevitable, yet many of us resist it with all our might. We like the status quo, even if it’s less than ideal. Letting go represents a willingness to change, and that can be daunting. Change also forces us to see our current reality and for some of us our current reality might not be what we want to face.
So, how can we summon the bravery to confront our fear of letting go and embrace change wholeheartedly?
In order to let go we must begin by cultivating our self-awareness. Become aware of what you’re holding onto and why. Reflect on the emotional baggage you’re carrying. Understanding the root of your resistance is crucial. It will help you better understand your thought process and help you be more aware when you are attaching to things, people, or places that no longer support your wellbeing.
Understand that letting go is a choice, and it’s within your power to make that choice. You don’t have to be a victim of your past or your fears. And with our choices comes an opportunity to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is a powerful strategy for releasing what no longer serves you. Focus on the present moment and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This will help you detach from them and gain perspective.
Embrace the fact that letting go isn’t a one-time event. It’s a process that takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and allow room for gradual change. Being realistic that you can let go of the same person, place or thing multiple times is normal.
As always, reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support. Talking about your fears and struggles can provide insight and encouragement. Find a person in your life that can provide you a safe space to listen and allow you to be vulnerable.
I want to share a ritual that has helped me through my practice of letting go. I want to share it with you and remember that rituals are powerful based on the meaning and intention you give them.
The “Letting Go Ritual”
Here’s how to do it:
- Identify What You Want to Release: Start by identifying what you need to let go of. It could be a grudge, a negative self-belief, a past relationship, or a bad habit.
- Choose a Symbolic Object: Find an object that represents what you want to release. It could be a letter, a stone, or a piece of paper.
- Write Your Feelings: If you’re using a letter or paper, write down your feelings, fears, and attachments to the thing you’re letting go of. Be honest and raw.
- Release the Object: Take your symbolic object to a quiet place, and as you read the letter or reflect on the object, consciously let go of your attachment. You can bury the object or simply toss it away as a gesture of release.
- Embrace the Freedom: As you watch the object disappear, take a moment to embrace the sense of freedom that comes with letting go. Allow yourself to breathe deeply and feel the weight lifted from your shoulders. Sit in this feeling as long as needed.
- Commit to Change: What actions will you need to change in order to embrace the freedom of letting go? Remind yourself that this is just the beginning of your journey towards letting go. Commit to embracing change and building resilience.
Remember, letting go is not about giving up; it’s about making space for something better. It’s about taking control of your life and choosing peace over fear. So, why not start your “Letting Go Ritual” today and step bravely into a more resilient and fulfilling future?
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