The journey of growth is not all rainbows and sunshine. It’s actually learning how to weather the storms of your life. So I want to share my insights on a topic that’s often overlooked in our fast-paced, achievement-oriented world: normalizing the practice of not thriving. [insert gasp here] Life is not always meant to be optimized, and we aren’t always meant to feel good. It’s okay to give ourselves time to feel down, slow down, and even grieve. These moments are an integral part of the human experience, and it’s during these times that we must learn how to cultivate self-compassion.
In a world that constantly celebrates success, happiness, and productivity, it’s easy to feel like we’re failing when we’re not at our best. Social media feeds us curated images of people living their best lives, making it seem like everyone is thriving except us. But here’s the truth: life is a roller coaster, and no one can be at their best all the time. Your best looks different throughout the many seasons of life.
Normalizing not thriving allows us to embrace the full spectrum of our emotions and experiences. It reminds us that it’s okay to slow down, take a breather, and acknowledge our pain or discomfort. In doing so, we open the door to self-compassion, a powerful tool for resilience and growth. Growth that benefits us more in the long run.
Asking a person to slow down when all they have known to do is consistently achieve and push towards more can be frightening and may seem impossible. So I want to support you with a few methods to help you slow down and practice self-compassion.
One of the most effective ways to slow down and cultivate self-compassion is through mindful self-care practices. Instead of rushing through life, take intentional breaks to nurture your mind, body, and soul. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Meditation: Dedicate a few minutes each day to meditation. It’s a wonderful way to connect with your inner self, acknowledge your feelings, and practice self-compassion. There are many meditation apps and guided sessions available to help you get started. Schedule it as a part of starting or ending your day. If you make time for it (even if it’s 5 minutes) you are more likely to shift into this practice.
Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. Use this as a safe space to express yourself without judgment. Reflect on your experiences, and be kind to yourself as you do. This process can help you gain clarity and perspective on your emotions and remember that there is no right way to journal. You can use prompts to support you through the process.
[Daily Journal Sample]
Connect with Nature: Spend time outdoors. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the mountains, or simply sitting in your backyard, nature has a calming and grounding effect. It can remind you of the beauty in simplicity and the healing power of the natural world. Did you know that spending time outdoors triggers a physiological response that lowers stress levels. Allow yourself intentional breaks during the day to just be among nature.
We often underestimate the power of human connection when it comes to self-compassion. Sharing our struggles and emotions with trusted friends, family members, or a therapist can be incredibly therapeutic. Scrolling through Instagram or commenting on posts is not what I am referring to here. I am talking about seeing the person through a video chat, meeting somebody for coffee (or an outdoor walk) or even a phone call is the human connection that we all need from time to time.
Open Up: Practice vulnerability by sharing your feelings with someone you trust. You don’t have to put on a brave face all the time. Letting others in allows them to offer support and empathy, reinforcing the idea that it’s okay not to thrive constantly.
Listen Actively: Be a good listener in return. Sometimes, the act of listening and empathizing with someone else’s struggles can help you feel more compassionate toward yourself as well.
Seek Professional Help: If you find it challenging to cope with your emotions or if you’re going through a particularly tough time, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. They are trained to guide you through these moments and provide valuable tools for self-compassion.
Remember, life is a journey filled with ups and downs. Normalizing not thriving is about recognizing that it’s perfectly okay to have moments of struggle, sadness, or grief. These moments are not signs of weakness but opportunities for growth and self-compassion. So, slow down, embrace your humanity, and let self-compassion be your guiding light through life’s highs and lows.
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