Celebrating 38…

“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes.”
– Paulo Coelho

As I celebrate my 38th birthday, I can’t help but reflect on the incredible journey I’ve been on. The past years have been filled with highs and lows, but through it all, I’ve learned some valuable life lessons that have shaped me into the person I am today. So, in the spirit of sharing, here are 38 life lessons that align with the brave, resilient, and empathetic woman I’ve embraced:

1. Life is a Special Occasion: I’ve learned that life itself is a precious gift, and every day is worth celebrating. So, wear the nice clothes, check in on those that pop into your mind, and cherish the moments. The average life expectancy is 76 years old, so that means I more than likely have 38 more summers, winters, falls and springs to enjoy. Living life in the present is a gift we give ourselves and our actions must align accordingly.
2. Embrace Change: Career pivots, moving across the country – change is inevitable. I’ve discovered that change often brings new opportunities and growth. Our perspective during times of change is what helps us welcome the many opportunities that are ahead of us.
3. Divorce Doesn’t Define You: Going through a divorce was challenging for me,and I learned that it doesn’t define my worth or happiness. I learned to feel my emotions, address old wounds through deep healing and accept defeat. All to say that I have never felt more worthy and I don’t accept anything less from and for myself.
4. Healing is a Dark Path: Healing has been a rewarding, yet painful experience. I have learned so much from myself and others. Learning how to be soft and strong all at once. Learning to rely on yourself without becoming hyper independent. Facing your faults and learning how to make them right. There is so much to be said, but I’ll leave it for my second book.
5. Follow Your Passion: After 15 years in a draining career, I realized the importance of following my passion. I am grateful for all the gifts being an educator has given me and I get to move forward with so much experience. However, it’s never too late to pursue what sets your soul on fire and I think my path in education has given me the lessons I needed to move in a different direction.
6. The Right Therapist Matters: If you don’t have a therapist and you have considered it, do not wait. Mental health struggles are real, but with the right support and self-care, you can overcome them.
7. Running a Marathon: Running a marathon taught me that I can push my limits and achieve what seems impossible. I didn’t train which made it twice as challenging, but I didn’t give up and listened to my body.
8. Publishing a Book: Writing and publishing my book was a dream come true. It helped me find my voice, and that others needed to hear it. I had to embrace vulnerability and show up imperfectly to share my words.
9. Set Boundaries: So much to say here, but I will leave you with what I realized about setting boundaries. They are uncomfortable at first because it’s not familiar, and that’s when you know you have work to do to learn how to set them. Knowing your boundaries helps you have healthy relationships in all areas of your life.
10. Breaking Generational Patterns: We have the power to break free from unhealthy family patterns and create a better future for ourselves and the generations to come. You will be judged and be misunderstood and that is perfectly ok. When we know better we MUST do better.
11. Acknowledge Fear, and Be Fearless: We are human and we all have fears. Fears of making mistakes. Fears of feeling too much. Fear of disappointment. Acknowledge your fear and know that you are strong enough to overpower it.
12. Time is Precious: Time passes, but what we do with it truly matters. Make each moment count.
13. Self-Love: Learning to love myself has been a journey, but it’s the foundation of a happy and fulfilled life.
14. Doing Hard Things for Yourself: I’ve realized the importance of doing difficult things not to please others but for my own growth and satisfaction.
15. Recovering Perfectionist: Perfection is an illusion. I’ve learned to embrace imperfections and see the beauty in flaws.
16. Peace is a Luxury: Peace of mind is a precious gift. I’ve come to appreciate its value and prioritize it in my life.
17. You Are Worthy: You are worthy of all the beauty life has to offer. Never doubt the space you take up in this world.
18. Our Past is our Greatest Teacher: Our past will repeat in the present until we slow down, reflect and respond to what is being taught. Our mistakes are the lessons we use to improve and our insecurity is an opportunity to learn about ourselves. What we suffer helps shape our wisdom to turn our pain into purpose. So don’t run from your past, instead lean in and grow.
19. The Power of Forgiveness: Forgiving others, and yourself, is a healing balm for the soul. I know that I deserve to live a life that is not filled with resentment, so learning to forgive from past hurt is necessary to find peace in the present.
20. Stay Curious: Stay open to learning and exploring new things. Curiosity keeps your mind young and vibrant.
21. Meditation and Mindfulness: Practicing meditation and mindfulness has brought peace and clarity to my life. Making time to center myself is the most beautiful part of my day.
22. Kindness Matters: Be kind, even when it’s not reciprocated. Kindness is not transactional. It is the unseen ripple effect for others. So I encourage you to be selflessly kind.
23. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate even the smallest victories in your life. This is how we can truly appreciate the journey. Honoring the repeated small moments will be the things that fill our bucket.
24. Gratitude Changes Everything: Practicing gratitude daily has shifted my perspective and brought more joy into my life. It allows me to make space for the beauty in my life, even when it’s challenging.
25. Letting Go: Letting go is often not a one time event. It comes in layers and that’s normal. I don’t think we talk about it enough. So feel your emotion and gently, let. It. go.
26. Resilience is Key: Life throws challenges, but your ability to bounce back defines your strength.
27. Patience is a Virtue: Some things take time, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself and your journey. Timelines only exist if you allow them.
28. Travel Broadens Perspective: Exploring new places and cultures enriches your life in ways you can’t imagine.
29. Nature Heals: Spending time in nature is a soothing balm for the soul. Don’t underestimate its healing power.
30. The Art of Listening: Truly listening to others and validating their feelings can be a tremendous source of connection. Don’t forget to learn to listen to your inner voice. It’s your guiding compass.
31. Say “No” When Needed: It’s okay to say “no” when something doesn’t align with your values or priorities. When you say no to others you are saying yes to yourself.
32. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a friend in times of need. It takes deliberate practice.
33. Love is Free: Love is a gift. Some of us were raised to be transactional with our love. This serves no one and it isn’t truly love.
34. Cultivate Joy: Find joy in everyday moments and keep it alive, even when life is challenging. Sometimes we feel drained from just being human and it’s in these moments we must assess what we are doing to cultivate joy in the smaller moments of life.
35. Be Mindful of Your Energy: Surround yourself with people and activities that uplift your energy. Your vibe attracts your tribe. So, if your circle isn’t what you would like it to be then we need to look at ourselves and think what parts of us we need to work on to be the person we want to be surrounded by.
36. The Power of Vulnerability: Being vulnerable and open about your struggles can lead to deep connections with others. It’s ok to be selective with your vulnerability as not all people know how to see and hear you when you need support.
37. Learn to Live for Yourself: I was a people-pleaser for most of my life. It wasn’t until I began to understand why I do what I do that I came to the conclusion that I did things to please everyone other than myself. This created a deep disappointment within myself. Learning to listen to myself and drowning out the noise around me has been liberating. Hard, but liberating nonetheless.
38. Dream Big: Always have dreams and aspirations. Your dreams give life its purpose and excitement. Afterall, you are powerful and have the opportunity to reinvent yourself to evolve everyday.

As I blow out the candles on my 38th birthday cake this weekend, I’m filled with gratitude for the woman I’ve become and the incredible journey that has brought me to this point. May these life lessons inspire and guide you on your own unique path. Remember, life is a special occasion, so shine bright and savor every moment because we only get to live once.